


Focus

by OneMisstep_GoodBye (Mendax_Mirabilis)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Photographer, Angst?, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:55:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21744865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mendax_Mirabilis/pseuds/OneMisstep_GoodBye
Summary: Gilbert is very good at hiding things
Relationships: Prussia/Russia (Hetalia)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Focus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OrsFri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrsFri/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Shutter Hues](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7987003) by [OrsFri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrsFri/pseuds/OrsFri). 



> I was inspired by OrsFri's photographer au series! I must have read it like a million times and I kept coming back. I had to throw some words down. Hopefully not too many mistakes... I wrote this in the heat of the moment :)

Gilbert is very good at hiding things.  
  
He stashes his books behind a cracked porcelain radiator and pastes messages under the patterned wallpaper. He hides his face behind the camera, parading others' faces for inspection while slipping out of the frames and he turns away from Vanya when his thoughts become too conflicted to stow away.  
  
He’s told Vanya – no, Ivan – what seems like a million tales about why he likes to take photographs. Each one is a glittering lie. They roll off his tongue these days like the sequestered Cognac slides down his throat.  
  
  
Vanya never suspects. For all his paranoia, he smiles at the tales of freedom, of preserving the moment, of his Mutti’s first camera, with a fond glint in his eyes even when the bags around them make him look just like Vati’s corpse after Ludwig –  
No. He never suspects. Never suspects that Gilbert took up the camera to set Ludwig free. He never suspects that Gilbert hates it – every single smile, tear and cry he captures on this side of the wall, but he loves the comfort of the freedom. Each click lets him escape from reality and pretend he isn’t stuck behind the Iron Curtain, that he didn’t choose to stay tied down and trapped just so Ludwig could esca–  
  
No.  
  
He never takes pictures of himself. Mutti often sneered, only when staring down the bottom of a bottle, that he was a ghost. White hair and demon eyes were no good for going around unnoticed and anyone in the information businesses needs to avoid recognition. So he hides his eyes behind the camera lens and moves like he belongs behind it. Everyone treats him like the ghost he is. Everyone except Ivan, who snapped a million pictures of Gilbert’s face and smiled like the Sun had decided to shine out of hi–  
  
Sometimes Gilbert lets his thoughts run away, even while his face is a perfect mask. Every time Van – Ivan – smiles at him, Gilbert can feel his heart constrict a little more as he lies through his teeth. Sometimes a shadow passes over Ivan’s features, like a spirit haunting him. Despite the constant reluctance to touch in the street, and the fear Ivan faces, he still digs up pure golden love from somewhere in that tarnished soul of his and presents it to Gilbert and he’s drowning, swimming, choking in guilt. Because Gilbert is still thinking of getting over the wall, and Gilbert is too cracked to make space in his heart for another, still torn up every time he thinks of Ludwig on the other side of the wall and if he’s finally saf –  
  
Gilbert never felt so much like a cheat until he started dating Vanya, and now feels like Julia must when she’s handing them the watered-down ersatz beer. But Gilbert is so much worse because he’s serving Ivan ersatz love.  
  
Vanya doesn’t lie. Gilbert is a liar through and through, who was raised by vicious liars and grew up among even more twisted ones. Gilbert is a lying coward who hides from everyone, and selfishly wants just Vanya, just one person who won’t lie to him or break his trust like Ludw–

********

Gilbert is very good at hiding things.  
  
His greatest treasures aren’t hidden under the floorboards or sown inside the curtain. They aren’t in the hollow of his wall or anywhere the Stasi or – Heavens forbid – Ivan might find.  
  
Rolled up in the shaft of his bedside lamp, are two photographs from the camera Gilbert both hates and loves in equal measure.  
Until very recently, there was only one. A snapshot of Ludwig with a tight smile, slumped against the crumbling remains of their childhood home, with the silhouettes of Roddy and Liz kissing desperately in the background.  
  
Now there is another. Scribbled on the back in Gilbert’s messy chicken scratch is Man Perturbed Over Taxes. It’s the only photograph of Vanya he keeps.  
  
Maybe one day he’ll give Vanya the photograph of Gilbert he took in the water. It will be his first and last apology.  
  
Gilbert is going to drown under the weight of the things he hides and he knows it. He can taste it.  
  
But for now, he’ll keep hiding, and wait for Vanya to catch on.

**Author's Note:**

> ...Writing is stressful.


End file.
